My life was perfect, nor was the best, was not even a life .... but it was mine and so appreciated.
now going on two months to live life to the air, trying to quietly pass the time to "enjoy being single" to do what I please ... and especially to do a lot of silence and trying to forget through amigoterápia ... but just something in me that is allowing me to do not as I would like ... even love, I still feel, still suffer ... less than a week ago that does not shed a tear, but almost two months will not sleep. I think about it constantly even when they seem to be doing and is a severe and constant pain, especially considering that she is doing her life and I, I went from being his partner, his partner of so many future plans, house, kids, bliss ... to just an idiot who goes around ... completely forgot all the suffering that one day I passed by her, support her, by holding his hand and not let fall, to fulfill your dreams today, right now is enjoying .... I'm an asshole ...
Everyone tells me "will remember", "calm will be solved", "patience and time", but seriously, I listen but I do not think any more story ...
do not know why I can not just erase 7 years of my life, that no such procedure for the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and forget so now I cause so much damage .... I can not deny and do not continue to do, wait to be with her again ...
Hypocrisy I have not done nothing, deny least try to be indifferent .... is a fallacy ... I try not to know about it and things come to me as if I asked .... and I hate .... We ... my friends do with faith of curiosity or to try to say "look it makes your life and your asshole here as" YES! I already know ... but what do I do?
When I first moved my separation I thought it might be a temporary thing, something we could fix and just give us a little time for what was wrong is fixed by its own weight, the first week they wanted ... of us be for an unfortunate joke that gave all the fret .... and thus the hope that so jealously guarded .... vanished.
the sun of today my only suspense for temporary happiness is when X or Y reason for calling me, if only to ask me something ... to see a second I feel good ... if you can call it an addiction to pain, I do not, I can only tell you that when I find my heart gives a great lurch, as every time he saw her after school, or when looking to raise my hand ... or when the bike rides hugged me tightly ... am to 5 seconds of resignation .... to accept that and accept that I lost, like it or not, soon I'll see someone else and I will be a bad memory in his mind .... I know, I'm coming to me and I can not do more than sit and watch as my neurons are destroyed by it ... but even if it will accept and which will fall into a depression drastic and perhaps I shirk the world ... continue in my position to be silent and swallow every night more and more tears ... muting my sobs with my sheets for my mother sleeping in the adjoining room, not find out that your child is falling apart on the inside ...
I tried to give me the chance to say, I'm in love, but just is not turning out, I feel bad, really bad. more desire that made you feel betrayed by a double game and this causes me away abruptly, the better to continue my journey alone, I think it's just as well, if not her best just to hurt another human being for my problems of character and attitude.
What if she means so much to me? ... too.
I met almost 8 years, from the beginning I felt special, something in his eyes shone and made me laugh at me too, I knew it was my better half to end my life. Gradually
and into your world I realized that there was everything to her pink, cried together many times, was when I decided to make the ultimate sacrifice for her, and forget about my driving it to follow their dreams from day one I thought "We will my chance, but first she, then I "... 7 years later ... here I am done a wanker, writing as if millions of people read me every day, weeping for the invasion of memories to my mind ...
No sorry, it will be a great educator, and it is indeed, but I always hurt the feeling of wanting to continue this mutual journey toward the realization of many plans that were made between hugs, smiles, kisses and stars ...
miss my life with its ups and downs, was not perfect but I was with her, my soulmate, my worm, my girl ... I miss my life without being the best, when we held hands there was no world in your smile No more problems .... I miss my life ... why not be the best drove me to dream, to fight, to continue ... and (not including friends, family, health) now I have nothing.
miss my life ... LIGD I miss you my love ...
0 comments:
Post a Comment